Unapologetically Apoetical!

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Unapologetically Apoetical!

The soul trapped in the mirage of love
Torn between the what could be and the what is
Hungry for affection and respect
Hurting but still hoping
Tormented by past demons
But still keeping the flame of desire burning deep within
Resonating the sounds of euphoria
And the sweet music of happiness
Walking through a nightmare
Waking up to a dream
Holding on to that positive glimmer of sunshine
That will break through this mundane darkness
However there still be an angst of the shallow horrors of defeat
But therein one gasp of life that against all odds still breathes
The journey leaving scars of memories
Scars symbolic of the fine lines that accentuate the features of life
Lending a third dimension to a otherwise falling flat base
The innermost emotions revealing an apocalyptic wave
Finally out of it all emerging a new and victorious tale

 

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Unapologetically Apoetical!

IMG_20190318_005608_627

Unapologetically Apoetical!

The soul trapped in the mirage of love
Torn between the what could be and the what is
Hungry for affection and respect
Hurting but still hoping
Tormented by past demons
But still keeping the flame of desire burning deep within
Resonating the sounds of euphoria
And the sweet music of happiness
Walking through a nightmare
Waking up to a dream
Holding on to that positive glimmer of sunshine
That will break through this mundane darkness
However there still be an angst of the shallow horrors of defeat
But therein one gasp of life that against all odds still breathes
The journey leaving scars of memories
Scars symbolic of the fine lines that accentuate the features of life
Lending a third dimension to a otherwise falling flat base
The innermost emotions revealing an apocalyptic wave
Finally out of it all emerging a new and victorious tale

 

Taming the Ego

Taming the Ego

Yes you are right in drawing comparisons about the title of my piece with “Taming The Shrew”, a celebrated tale authored by the famous William Shakespeare. I’m definitely “inspired” by it and took it from there but here the “Shrew” is the unruly and sometimes menacing “Ego”.

As per the Cambridge dictionary Ego is an idea or opinion that you have of yourself, especially about the level of your ability and intelligence and your importance as a person.

Now it is a good thing to maintain your Self respect, self pride, etc.but to let it control and overpower all your sensibilities and decision making is another thing all together.

Being important is nice but it’s important to be nice too. Your ego should not let lose the beast in you. You need to draw a parrarel between your desires and your expectations aligning them with the given opportunities and the overall goal that needs to be achieved. Your goal and methods of attainment should not just boost your ego but at the same time not hurt any others.

So let us discuss some techniques of taming the shrew, in this case the Ego.

Harmonizing your goals with the overall organisational or team goals is a small step in that direction. You can develop ways to achieve your means and thereby realise your dreams along with keeping the bigger picture in mind. If you cannot beat them, join them. A dream works when a team works. So if you look hard you will find ways to reach your goal while working along with the team.

Have some quiet time to your self. Reflect and relax. Give your self a break. Losen up a bit, the whole world’s problems were not solved in a day and you are not the only one trying to live your dream. Everyone has their own story and everyone gets their chance. Just don’t sleep when it comes by.

You are not solely oppressed and No! The whole world is not against you. Don’t over think your issues and blow them out of proportion. Learn to put the brakes on your speeding ego to divert a major accident. You might just be having a bad day. Don’t overstretch your imagination to make the whole universe a villain. Just let go.

Acceptance is the key to ones realisation of one’s abilities. Accept your limitations and work on your capabilities. Learn to accept responsibility of not only excellent work but also of substandard work and of errors committed by you. Failures are the stepping stones to success.

Don’t just ponder on the issue , look for a solution. Don’t let your ego blind you into missing an opportunity to achieve peace of mind. Your peace of mind will help you think more clearly and get you working towards your dream in harmony with your challenges and make it more conducive and attainable.

Your self image, your ego is a direct outcome of what you think. Think positive , work towards tangible goals. Find alternatives to regroup your dream with the bigger team goal and see the magic.

Your personal likes and dislikes should never overpower your sense of a fair and balanced judgment. You control your Ego, it’s not the other way around. You need to develop a method of checks and balances to control your overpowering urge to self control all people and situations.

All people and situations are not alike, you cannot and will not be able to make everyone happy so don’t try too hard but do give everyone a chance in the sun. A happy team is a winning dream team. You are the centre of your universe and all around you are the ones that make the universe so it’s in your hands to make it a bitter or a better one for you.

So how would you go about taming the shrew (ego)? Do think about it and reflect on it.

Dealing With Death

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Dealing with Death

Life is here and gone tomorrow. We lose our near and dear ones. Sometimes we cope and move on faster but some other times it can take a while. However the whole dynamics changes when there are children involved in the process of bereavement. The coping mechanisms, the feeling of loss and grief are a whole new gamut of emotions that the child gets exposed to and this is were we adults come in to help them go through this journey smoothly together and get a deeper understanding of Dealing with Death.

“Darling, grandma is just gone to fairy land and become a fairy” or ” Now finally grandpa has become a star and is watching over us”. These are a few dialogues we throw at the kids while dealing with the question of death.

Children are often a little bewildered as to why so many visitors, why suddenly a photo has been framed and put up of a near and dear one and so on and so forth.

First and foremost we should not ignore or just pass on their questions. We should address the matter like “child adults”, yes this a new term coined by me. We cannot run away from the fact that we have to face this challenge sooner or later so might as well start at the earliest.

Out of personal experience with my kid I have realised that the truth always works. Tell them that they were ill or had suddenly taken ill or due to old age they have finally passed on to the Almighty. We are all part of the celestial equation so yes they have become a star or are in heaven etc, are good enough explanations.

Some children are explorers so they might even ask about the respective funeral processes. We should address it in the best possible way rather than give vague ideas about it.

Also when we have a sudden rush of visitors who come to offer their condolences we should make sure about what we say about the departed soul with children around and not get into the gory details of the incidents that lead to the death like an incurable disease, or an accident or a life threatening condition, etc. It might take a toll over their young minds. These nitty gritties should be kept for when they are a little more mature to understand.

Also many customs are followed once there is a bereavement in the family. They should be explained to the child and not just be impromptu.

Children have a strong sixth sense and they can very well sense when something is not quite right.

So dealing with the question of death whether its a human or a pet with kids is not as Herculean a task as we make it out to be. Keep it simple and be open and address it just like any other day to day matter, don’t have any qualms about what will happen once you tell the child and deal with it sensitively and all will be well.

Alls well that ends well, holds true for everything including dealing with death.

So do let me know what coping mechanisms worked best with you while you were bereaved and if there were any children involved in the situation.

As a footnote I would also like to say that a child’s best friends are books and what better way to introduce the concept of grief due to separation by death and feeling mixed emotions, being reassured that it’s normal to feel things and through these few books that describe it so beautifully for children. Some of the titles are here below. It’s not an exhaustive list as there are many more and to every one their own.

1. My Old Pal Oscar, by Amy Best
2. Samantha Jane’s Missing Smile, by Julie Kaplow and Donna Pincus
3. No Matter What, by Debi Gliori
4. Where Do They Go? by Julia Alvarez
5. My Many Colored Days, by Dr.Suess
6. The Goodbye Book, by Todd Parr
7. Where You Are: My Love Will Find You, by Nancy Tillman
8. The Invisible String, by Patrice Karst
9. The Rabbit Listened, by Cori Doerrfeld
10. God Gave Us Heaven, by Lisa Tawn Bergren
11. Sun Kisses, Moon Hugs, by Susan Bernardo
12. Goodbye Mog, by Judith Kerr
13. Always and Forever, by Alan Durant
14. Missing Mommy, by Rebecca Cobb
15. The Elephant In The Room, by Amanda Edwards and Leslie Ponciano
16. Saying Goodbye to Lulu, by Corrine Demas
17. Tess’s Tree, by Jess Brallier
18. Badger’s Parting Gifts, Susan Varley
19. Grandad’s Island, by Benji Davies
20. Is Daddy Coming Back In A Minute, by Elke and Alex Barber

Go With The Flow

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Go With The Flow!

You don’t know what happens
Until tomorrow doesn’t come
You keep wondering what will be next
While it is still today
You ponder upon what brought you to the current situation
But the past has long gone by
Why hold on to the skeletons in the cupboards of time long lost
Why stress when we have the gift of living in today
Living in fear of what will the future hold will affect the whole sequence called life
You will watch helplessly while life is happening just right in front of your eyes
You cannot hold on to sand, it will slip away
Time once spent will never return
Right now is the time for action
Procrastinating will only steal time away
Learn from your past
Apply the lessons to the present
So that you have a fruitful and brighter future
You shape and execute your destiny
What you think, you manifest
Everything you do has consequences
Some make you better, some leave you wiser
Take everything with a pinch of salt.
Without salt there is no taste in the food of life served on your platter of fate, delivered, signed and sealed to you.

2018 In A Nutshell

 

2018 In A Nutshell

The year that was, 2018 went by in a flash. Just blink and you open your eyes in 2019 already.

It’s been an emotional rollercoaster. Trying to lose weight and unwanted clutter in surroundings both physical and emotional.

Losing a parent after a decade of health struggles and finally getting the other parent to travel across the seven seas and come to a foreign land. So this year I have seen both sides of the spectrum called life and death.20190102_015431

Blogging and pouring my soul onto my blog, Facebook and Instagram page. Having now also developed a knack of photographing unique, queer and things that are in my perspective beautiful and timeless, could be any object or person or emotion or just nature.

Making new friends and letting go of a few, after all distance does take it’s toll and some relationships just die a natural death. I’m happy not to drag it beyond it’s expiry date, somethings are better let off on a sweet note than have a lifelong bad taste and memory of it.

Sometimes getting a shout out from old friends- a sudden message or wish, feels nice that someone has taken out time to remember you even if it’s once in six months but that’s the beauty of it, you don’t need to spoil somethings by overindulging them.

Learning to say no and not getting emotionally involved in decisions is a lesson well learnt. Some of the things in life require an unattached approach, you cannot have your cake and eat it too. Some things and people just come by for a particular reason, once the purpose is served you no longer need to sit at the table, just leave. There is nothing to be guilty of a business driven relationship and there is nothing to shy away from it.

Different people different levels of involvement and different ways of dealing is a lifesaving skill I’ve acquired. You cannot be best pals with everyone, you win some and you lose some. You can only be close to a handful and you definitely cannot please everyone, you are not an ice cream or chocolate.

People change and yes it’s a fact whether for good or bad depends on what kind of an equation you share with that person. Change is the only thing constant in human nature. Even I have changed- my reaction to a certain situation 6 years ago and now will definitely be contradicting then and now. Everyone changes over time, not only physically but emotionally too.

Keep no expectations is easier to say than do but trust me it is the best way forward. You will end up disappointed and hurt if you expect too much from any thing be it an object of pleasure or a close relation. Give everything it’s time and space to shape up and grow. Do not rush into it and ruin it. Don’t lose your self respect but keep that ego tempered down.

Family is what you fall back on. You will always have an annoying one, one most helpful one and few non committal ones but family is something that will back you up always in some way or the other. All kinds of vessels make noise but still stay in harmony on one rack.

Always pay for what you got. I’ve personally experienced that if I’ve got anything for free then the very next moment I have had to pay for something unexpected, so life has it’s funny ways of balancing it’s accounts and always keeping it fair and square so do not forget to return a compliment, say your golden words and gift people who have previously bought gifts for you and return favours. As they say there are no free lunches in this world.

Visit new places and meet new people that’s how you enrich your life’s experiences and replenish your own energy. Experience the good, the bad and the ugly first hand and draw your own conclusions and methods of coping with all kinds. Don’t be afraid to try new things but don’t push it too much, know your limits.

Try as much as possible to be emotionally, financially and physically independent it will help your self esteem and also keep you sane and grounded in your relations and keep up the best spirits in you. A happy independent you automatically contributes to a happy and lovely world around you.

Do what makes you happy in small measures at intervals, it calms and helps you focus on your goals to attain happiness. Life’s pleasures are in small details not in big filthy expensive things.

Cherish people and things. Always save up for a rainy day and know whom you can turn to when in deep troubled waters not all who are your friends will jump into the fire to save you, learn to see through and keep the real ones close.

So now that the chapter of 2018 is done and dusted with I look forward to creating more memories and meeting new people and visiting new places. Cheers to practising the pause and being detached and to emotional fulfilment and chasing your dreams and to all things that keep us healthy, happy and insanely wise.

A very Happy New Year to everyone!

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Bereaved

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Bereaved

Life is short and unpredictable
So live it while it lasts
And whatever you do have a blast

Don’t just keep clicking,
Instagramming or Facebook posting
Be there and enjoy the moment which your life is hosting

There are no re-runs or flashbacks
So reach out to the loved ones and do all that counts and leave a happy track

You are given just this once to be alive
So play all parts well of your daily soap
And into every situation just dive in and strive

The caravan will grow and at times diminish
As people keep coming and going till their part in your story finishes

Life is hard work but it’s easy when you don’t think much of it
You grieve then move on
Life will throw different things at you so you grow on

Don’t realise the worth of gold once it’s gone
Live life the worth of gold, to the fullest for the purpose that you were born

Fullest

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Fullest

Love is not love until you are not heartbroken and have not given it your all
Success is not cherished till you don’t lose and fall
Dancing is not enthralling till you are not carefree and with the music flow
A Painting is eye catching only when you let the canvas fill up with your emotions and let go
Any sport is won when you pursue it with passion and practise the techniques to the core
Relationships are best maintained when you do not let the tempers and ego soar
When you put in your best efforts towards anything you desire
Don’t let the hunger to chase your dream die and keep burning that fire
Do everything to the fullest not in half measures
You will find your path filled with thorns to tread and finally go discover your treasure

Writing On My Wonderwall!

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Writing On My Wonderwall!

Start writing, no matter what. There is nothing to writing, all you do is sit down and bleed. Write to empty your mind.
Always be a poet, even in prose. Poetry is the evidence of life.
Don’t get it right – get it written!
A good story is always better than a broken piece of truth.
Write what should not be forgotten,
write for the gold. Storytelling is all bout smoke and mirrors. It’s delicious to write the first words of a story.
Imagination creates reality. Work of art make rules. Not that the story need be long. You can’t wait for inspiration. Write about the emotions you fear the most.Prose is architecture.
The road to hell is paved with adverbs.Tomorrow may be hell, but today is a good writing day.
We all write in a yellow submarine.
Words are a lens to focus one’s mind.
Fall in love with the swirl and swing of words.

Your intuition knows what to write.
Motivation doesn’t last? Neither does bathing.Writing is its own reward. Write seven times and publish eight.
You are what you write.You can’t wait for inspiration. The power of imagination makes you infinite.
Fill your writings with the breathings of your heart. Writing is a way of talking without being interrupted. Write what you know.
You must stay drunk on writing so reality can’t destroy you. It is never too late to write what you might have been.
Read a thousand books, and your words will flow like a river. One day you will find the right words.